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Messages from the archive of Rutherford Hall, critical communications strategist
WhatsApp to Stephen: Was just talking to one of our rivals at Portbury — apparently he is now using ChatGPT to do all his research and even offer suggestions on his speeches and presentations. He swears by it. Do we have a Pro licence for it? I don’t think it’s hugely expensive.
WhatsApp to Stephen: God this is amazing. I asked for some research on the government’s pension reforms — the key points, potential problems, known opponents and so on. Then I asked ChatGPT to turn it into a presentation. It’s amazing. Mind you it’s not quite perfect. One of the opponents it listed was Henry Muck from Lumi, a character from Industry — he was played by Kit Harington. So just to mess with it, I told ChatGPT that he’d also killed the mother of dragons.
WhatsApp to Stephen: So what I do now is ask it for a research brief, check it for obvious hallucinations and google any puzzling references. It still saves me hours. Even better, if I make notes, it turns them into a presentation — and then I ask it if I’ve missed anything and, holy moly, it actually makes really smart suggestions. I’m beginning to wonder if we need that new researcher you wanted. Especially so given the extra NIC costs.
ChatGPT
Rutherford Hall: Analyse my presentation to fund manager clients on how to modify the UK government’s proposed pension reforms, specifically the merging of small funds and the demands for at least 5 per cent investment in UK assets. Suggest areas I have missed.
Rutherford Hall: Remove references to the individual Scottish Widow. It’s just the company’s name. Also the woman you cite is not Scottish, or a widow.
Rutherford Hall: Please add your suggestions on grammar but not your observations on non sequiturs. The communications industry sometimes finds those useful. As to your observation that even your five-year-old would not laugh at it, you are a generative AI assistant, you do not have a child.
Rutherford Hall: I see, it was a figure of speech. I cannot find that article in The Guardian you cite. Are you sure it is genuine?
Rutherford Hall: What do you mean “has that ever bothered you before”? I don’t want hallucinations.
Rutherford Hall: OK that’s great. Do you have any data on how much UK pension funds are investing in UK assets other than gilts?
Rutherford Hall: Excellent. What is the source for that?
Rutherford Hall: Can you find another source beyond the Express?
Rutherford Hall: This is very good. You should apply for our new researcher job (joke). Please incorporate your points 3, 4 and 6 into my notes and prepare as a presentation.
Rutherford Hall: No. We’ll go with my version and those additions.
Rutherford Hall: Write me an email to Volpone bank in the style of Dave Chappelle.
Rutherford Hall: No just this one time.
WhatsApp to Stephen: God I love ChatGPT. The whole thing took about 20 mins. A few glitches but only a handful of mission-critical errors. And it’s so clever. Using my emails I got it to write a memo to Volpone Bank in the style of Dave Chappelle. It’s hilarious. I’ll show you a copy. I’ve only got a print out — didn’t want to send it to them by mistake.
WhatsApp to Stephen: Great, so we’ll put the researcher job on ice for a few weeks while we roll out ChatGPT Pro to the office. It will save us money and doesn’t acquire employee rights from day one.
From: [email protected]
We are experimenting with giving all staff ChatGPT Pro licences. It’s a fantastic research tool and great for writing presentations and speeches. Give it access to your email and docs and then give it a try. One warning — it is still throwing up odd facts that are not correct, so make sure to double check anything you don’t recognise.
Rutherford
Find me on Strava, KoM Sydenham Hill, London to Brighton 3 hrs 04m, Al Jubailah/Bawdah Loop — 42 mins
WhatsApp to Alice: Alice, just noticed your presentation to Big Energy. Can that Telegraph article on the UK having five fusion plants by the end of 2025 be right. Was that a ChatGPT suggestion? Please double check.
WhatsApp to Alice: Well, there’s normally only a couple of errors — it’s still way faster.
WhatsApp to Stephen: OK, let’s get a researcher just to oversee our use of ChatGPT. We can use our AI recruitment tool to weed out applicants.
WhatsApp to Stephen: Aargh every applicant is using AI to write their applications, knowing that the first cut will be made by AI. For all I know they may actually be AI. And one application came in the style of Dave Chappelle. You don’t think ChatGPT Pro is hiring its mates?
Messages recovered by Robert Shrimsley